Questions To Ask At First Date
Some questions to ask at first date without being a boundary violator.
Depending on how well you know your first date, your mission is to reveal as much as you can about them without violating important intimate boundaries.
By revealing what you can about them, you will discover their likes and dis-likes which can be used as a foundation for finding common ground and crafting further questions.
If your first date is emotionally stable, it will be impossible to uncover everything there is to know after just one date.
If your date is emotionally un-stable, there is a good chance that their intimate boundaries are broken or non-existant which will allow you to dig a little deeper.
In both cases, treat your first date with respect by not deliberately violating their boundaries even if you know you can get away with it without being detected.
Asking Questions
Your questions should appear to be a display of genuine interest in the other person rather than some kind of interrogation.
The easiest way to begin asking questions is to ask a question which is related in some way to what you already know about the person.
For Example
- If you know what they do for a living, you might ask them how they got involved in that kind of occupation.
- If you know they go to the gym, you might ask them how long they have been working out.
- If you know they are from out of town, you could ask them how they ended up in your neck of the woods.
In this way you will uncover more and more about your first date in a natural way which will give you more information to craft new questions.
Questions Not To Ask
If you ask private and/or intimate questions that are in no way related to what you already know about the person, they could consider it to be a boundary violation and therefore become suspicious.
Examples
- Don't ask questions about their finances.
- Don't ask questions about their previous relationships.
- Don't ask questions about their religion.
The general rule is not to dig into areas which have not already mentioned or areas where you don't already know something about them.
Final Tips
Reciprocate - Avoid sounding like a detective by making little comments in between questions. Injecting personal views, feelings and experiences will help your first date trust you.
Be Respectful - Don't ask questions which are none of your business. Being an obvious sticky-beak is a quick way to burn-off and turn-off.
Don't Manipulate - Don't use questions which are crafted to paint the other person into a corner in order to get what you want. Questions should be a display of genuine interest, not a sales-style closing technique.
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